a Vision from heaven
Seeing God on His throne in heaven changed it all for me. At the time I had no desire after Him, and clearly lived a life of unbelief in His existence.
Two dark, innocent eyes stared curiously at the commotion around him being only 8 years old. His step-father was on his way somewhere. He only caught snatches of the story and many details he did not understand. He sensed that he would have no part in the fun. Minutes later he was in the home of a strange family where, after a short conversation and admonition to be good, his father left on his way to go gamble.
Soon more strangers arrived, and the boy found him in the midst of another unfamiliar scene, that of a Bible-study. He listened eagerly to it all, though today he only recalls a certain scene where he was placed in the middle of the circle of people and for a few minutes was the object and focus of earnest, heartfelt prayers. Tears where rolling down the cheeks of those intercessors as their petitions took the little boy from his broken, sinful home, where drinking and gambling reigned, and laid him at the feet of Jesus, the only One who could care for him in the years to come.
Fast forward years of growing up where father and mother where constantly at each other for spending too much money, or looking too friendly at another lady, or drinking too much last night. Fights did not always stopped at being verbal but could even get physically bloody. Rage and resentment became the boy’s companions and for acceptance he looked to the meanest crowd. When they were not welcoming he took to the streets and found his own pleasures in smoking, drinking, and drugs.
His own father was living with his new wife and children in a neighboring country. There were some similarities between these homes but his father’s had this difference; it was prosperous. But drunkenness and adultery stayed there too. At the age of 16 his mother could no longer cope with the boy’s substance abuse; she send him to his father who would take control of him. Still the boy was very shrewd and worldly wise. He knew how to manipulate and get his way. Taking “no” for an answer was not in his character, so he just went underground. He was the good boy in front of the adults in church and school, but soon he had the younger boys under his influence and would drag them to clubs and his party life, when no parents were looking.
The boy had now become a man. His dark eyes were no longer innocent. All manner of wickedness and sin stole it from them. He looked with shrewd, scheming eyes around him as he drove the merchant through the dark, dangerous back streets of Windhoek where they would go and buy “an arm” of weed. The dangerous mission would earn him a good cut. He was not deceived to think that he could make money safely from that trade. He knew Ziggies, the merchant’s habits too well to think he could stay free from the ever tightening grip that drugs hold on a man. Ziggies could hardly support his own drug habits with those earnings he made from selling it, not to mention that he had no roof over his head but lived among the bushes in the uninhabited areas of the city.
Llewellyn, our young man, landed him a very good job with his dad’s company. He was being groomed to take over from his father to be the next CEO. He had most his young heart could desire. His life was focused on gaining the material riches while enjoying the ride to its fullest. Traveling the country of Namibia as a sales representative he had many opportunities and connections to never be bored where ever he found himself. His father taught him the ropes, and everything would’ve been perfect if Llewellyn would just party with his dad and not always wanted to go his own way. At times their father – son relationship was so stormy that his father actually had him deported. When the fires between them would cool down, Llewellyn would be accepted back with promises to be a better liar and make sure no-one would be the wiser of his double life. A life filled with immorality, drugs, violence, crime, and lawlessness on the one hand and a successful business man with integrity and an impeccable modest appearance, seemingly harmless on the other hand.
As his money got more so his drugs got more sophisticated, as well as his friends. He started looking into other spiritual powers of the occult and esotericism. The power of the mind, motivated and supported by self, was much more appealing then the false religious facade he had. Add drugs to the equation and your find yourself tapping into serious thrills even if it were sometimes only allusions from LSD and cocaine.
It was like he was falling down into a deep sleep, where at the one side he was hearing the echos of people’s fading voices warning him, and on the other side he was losing grip of reality and the consequences of his actions. At a pivotal point a friend one night came rushing in, finding Llewellyn once again high on drugs in a night club, sitting on the steps of a dance floor with lights flaring and music thumping its beat into the very soul of its hearers with extreme hip and frenzy. Excitement was throbbing, and out of admiration of the celebration of drugs the friend proclaimed unexpectedly, “God loves you!”, as he looked Llewellyn straight in the eyes with that kind of gaze which was somewhat shocking, since Llewellyn knew his friend was pointing at Satan. As these words rolled over and over in Llewellyn’s mind, he started experiencing conviction of sin while being overwhelmingly confused and saddened. He had become a son of lies. His later recollection draws the conclusion that the secret part of his life, and who he really was, a monster of iniquity and master of lies, broke through into his other life of acting to be this good person in front of his family, and this self-serving side was ready to devour all restraint that he would no longer be able to continue pretending. It was like letting out the beast. Yes, he found himself at the precipice of no return. From that moment forward the abandonment to self indulgence would be his only focus. A wickedness which he had learned to love and defend as freedom, concluding that it was only the opinions of men that blackened this kind of life style; that even society has become the slave of religious rhetoric, and needed reform. Society was asleep, and he was the one that was awake; awake to true life and real happiness!
Meanwhile as these thoughts flood his soul it was confronted with the memories of those weeping in the name of Jesus over him as a child, and this recollection was startling. Suddenly Llewellyn found himself in the presence of a being of immense power. What could only be described as a vision, where at first he could not comprehend what he was seeing, but as he gained focus of this being, He was high and lifted up on a throne, indescribable in beauty. Millions of beings communicated with this being and He with them all simultaneously with no burden or effort. That One, who he only after realized was God, being the center of everything created, comfortably communicated with all at once, as an absolute perfection of power. He remembers thinking, “Wow this is the center of all power!” Then the unthinkable happened; yes, that one turned for a moment His glorious attention and Llewellyn realized, “He is looking at me.” His thunderous voice was only a whisper when He said, “Yes, I indeed love you! What are you doing in that night club? That is not what I had planned for you! Come and follow me!” In an instant I was back in the club and I found myself in total shock. All around me was dark figures like shadows dancing and puking on the raving and drinking crowd still dancing to the overwhelming, thumping, rave music. Everyone seemed oblivious of the demons but suddenly all their attentions turned towards me in rage when they realized I could see them. In total fear and anxiety I ran out of the club. I got in my car and just sat there weeping. I cried out and said, “God, if you are real, help me!”, since in that moment I realized my life was in a total mess and I was so desperate that I wanted only the truth; I was done! Again I cried, “Show me who you really are!” And like in the days of Elijah the God of Israel answered with the same quiet whisper in my heart, “Go home and get your Bible.”
Thinking back at that vision, now nearly 21 years ago, my life has never been the same. I found my Bible that night and for nearly 10-15 hours could not stop reading till I finally saw Jesus, the real Savior of the world, the very Son of God and the One who stepped down from heaven to safe me. That night I realized we are all hell deserving sinners, and that Jesus was real. Few years later I also read passages in scripture of other men who had similar encounters and saw the same scene I did, with the same outcome. They also were never the same thereafter. It is a vision from heaven that is truly live changing. It not only changed my life, but also countless other people, family and friends. Even my wife, who was one of those caught up in the same drug scene, was powerfully saved few months after. The whole group of friends at the time was disrupted as I shared the testimony far and wide. Yes, even my dad, 5 years later, was also shaken to the core, and turned to Jesus from dead religion. Eternity alone will tell of the full impact of what happened that evening in the most unexpected place to the most undeserving person. All the glory to God!
(was updated 2019/12)
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